Have you ever wanted to just throw things out and start over?

I’m referring to objects that are broken but may never get repaired. Or notes to yourself about projects needing doing but never started. Or just lists in your mind that get in the way.

Don’t you just want to fill up a trash can, and then take a cerebral laxative to clear your mind?

Sometimes it’s that way writing this column. Odds and ends pile up and sooner or later have to be removed. So here goes.

There’s been some talk about Patterson’s tall historic palm trees that extend east along Las Palmas Avenue to the San Joaquin River. Most stand on the right-of-way along a county road, and their life span reportedly is between 100 and 125 years. They’ve just reached the century mark. Now what?

Carl Selee, longtime Patterson High teacher and football coach, sent an electronic message the other day from Boise, Idaho, where he and his wife, Pat, moved several years ago. He says they live in a neighborhood that is similar to Patterson of 30 to 50 years ago, when we didn’t lock our houses and left the keys in the car. Ahhh, them were the days. I’ll bet Carl pays plenty of attention to the Boise State football program. I even do that.

The round-about on Del Puerto Avenue where it intersects with E Street has been getting plenty of traffic — right up over the curb. But not any longer. Notice those huge boulders that now protect the circle.

Also put up for protection is additional fencing on the high school grounds. Many of us recall when our kids spent all day on weekends and summer vacations playing on the school grass. No more. A pity.

Speaking of play areas, London has set aside an outdoor playground specifically for senior citizens — which in this column are called Persons of Maturity. News stories refer to the PMs as “elderly,” yet the park accommodates those older than 60. Let’s hold on here — 60 is hardly elderly, at least in my book. And it’s getting younger all the time.

On the subject of age, I’m compiling a list of Patterson-area nonogenarians. That would be folks between the ages of 90 and 99. The list has surprisingly grown to nearly 25, with three more whose ages are question marks (to me). That’s not counting two centenarians — Bertha Criswell and Ada Kilby, who are both 100. Readers are invited to send me names (e-mail address below and phone number in the book), and Fast Talk will soon do honor to these PMs by putting their names in print.

Johnny Farinha, who claims he is 81 but may be fibbing because he looks 65, is on another streak. A longtime member of the Knights of the Square Table, he generously bought $315 worth of coffee for his friends in 2009, a new KOST record. Then, in January of this year, he didn’t pay a single dime as the Dice Gods smiled on him. (Peter Rookard and George Klopping paid $46.50 and $42 last month, respectively, but don’t tell their wives, Katie and Ruth. By the way, come on by Mil’s at midmorning and have a free cup on these two.)

The above-mentioned Mr. Farinha turns out excellent lemon pies, as previously noted in this column. He has treated his coffee friends in the past, but do you think the KOSTers can get him to bend over a hot oven lately? Some of us are literally wasting away.

Spring is just around the corner, and there’s no better time to return the grocery shopping carts shoved between houses and accumulating in our alleys over the winter months. It’s the beginning of spring cleaning. Seriously, it’s the least expensive thing you can do to raise your property value.

E-mail of the week

Readers recognize that this writer strongly despises all small electronic devices that may be held in the hand. These range from cell phones to iPods to even GPS gadgets. I still haven’t figured out why we need three remotes to operate our TV screen, two of which I’ve never used.

I receive weekly a variety of e-mails dealing with the subject — some good, a few not so, and most of them proving my point. (I should add that many are hilarious.)

Fast Talk has a policy of not using the names of e-mail senders, and the following message explains why.

“I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

“After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee but then noticed that everyone was staring at me.

“Then, I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.”

We never had that problem growing up in the ’50s.

Quote of the week

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” — Gandhi

Sure wish I had said that.

For the sports fan

I must dispel a rumor circulating around Patterson this week.

West Park’s Gerry Kamilos is not going to challenge Larry Ellison in the next America’s Cup yacht race, rumored to be held on the San Joaquin River.

Thought you’d wanta know.

And finally …

That big snowstorm last week on the East Coast temporarily shut down Congress, thereby saving the country as much as $10 billion, according to some pundits.

It seldom snows in Sacramento, but couldn’t we on the West Coast come up with some other weather outage?

• Ron Swift is editor/publisher emeritus of the Patterson Irrigator. He can be reached at ronkay@evansinet.com.