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| Fast Talk |
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| Written by Ron Swift / Fast Talk | |
| Saturday, 22 December 2007 | |
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Celebrity gossip: Who really cares? It’s a week for questions. Please be advised that in most instances, readers must supply their own answers. 
Let’s start with newspapers. Why does the daily press give so much space to the dark and what should be private lives of celebrities? So what if Pamela Anderson may or may not be seeking a third divorce from her magician husband of two months? Is that worth a quarter-page of space, including a buxom photo? Or how about Victoria Beckham of Spice Girls fame. She sleeps in the nude with her soccer-star husband, David Beckham. So what? And then there’s the mis-crowning of a beauty queen in the Miss California USA pageant. Miss Los Angeles originally received the crown, but a mathematical error was later caught and Miss Barstow eventually took the top honor. Did this merit top billing in the press? (Actually, uncovering who is poor at arithmetic would make a more interesting story.) Nor must we overlook the recent ogling of 28-year-old actress Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose cellulite was recently caught by a photographer as she bikinied on a Hawaiian beach. Did we need that story? Were our lives somehow enriched by that knowledge? But, you say, newspaper content is simply a mirror of public interest. What the public wants, newspapers provide — or at least some of them do. Unfortunately, you might be right. But the question remains: Do we need that junk? Must every racy move of Paris Hilton or Britney Spears be thrown at us in provocative photos and uncomplimentary detail? Such news coverage simply insults our intelligence. THE LONGEST WHAT? You probably know that “stewardesses” is the longest word that may be typed (correctly) using only the left hand. But what about only the right hand? That would be “lollipop.” Just remember where you learned this. YOU TELL ME Here’s a question for you to ponder over the holidays: Does it seem hypocritical that our Stanislaus County Board of Supervisors this week passed an ag element promoting the protection of prime farmland, while at the same time is working with a developer (Gerry Kamilos) whose project on the West Side would cover up some of the best ag land in the world? And that the ag element and the West Park project highlighted this week’s board agenda is almost incomprehensible. FOR THE SPORTS FAN Why am I not at all surprised by this week’s Major League Baseball steroid report? Were you? In women’s basketball, the 13th ranked West Virginia team upped its record to 9-1 by trouncing the Presbyterian College Blue Hose, 93-26. Now tell me, why would the ranked Mountaineers be playing the unknown Blue Hose, who fell to 1-9? AND FINALLY … Readers who may be planning a nighttime ride around residential Patterson to check out the Christmas decorations, you don’t want to miss the Seventh Street yard a couple of blocks south of the Las Palmas School. It’s an enlightening experience. Have a very happy Christmas and a merry New Year. Ron Swift is editor/publisher emeritus of the Patterson Irrigator. His column appears weekly in this space.
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