Search
Polls
Latest Forum Posts
| Taking a Knee unclebuck 15-11-08 13:51 |
| Re:Football unclebuck 07-10-08 15:24 |
| Re:Football unclebuck 02-10-08 12:59 |
Login Form
| Fast Talk |
|
|
| Written by Ron Swift / Fast Talk | |
| Saturday, 24 November 2007 | |
|
Time to clean out the mailbag It takes a holiday week like this one to clean off the desk and catch up on the mail. So here’s from the mailbag.  Ron Swift Mr. Swift: Will the traffic proposal to widen East Las Palmas Avenue to four lanes when the need arises eliminate our beautiful palm trees? — Hysterical & Historical Dear HH: Don’t worry about Patterson’s historical palms that line the roadway east to the river. They are a state historical resource. Have you ever heard of the government fouling up? Emeritus: How come we haven’t seen John A. Farinha’s name in the paper recently? — Miss Him Dear Miss, or is it Him?: Glad you brought up the subject of Mr. Farinha. He turned 79 on Halloween, and the community again celebrated his birthday with great fanfare. Since then, he’s been resting up by laying low. Fast Talker: How do you feel about (all) those ... Patterson homes that are in foreclosure? — Askin’ Askin’: Sad. Swifty: Your buddy Bob “Spokie” Kimball says there’s a camel over in the hills above Knights Ferry that you refuse to go see. What gives? — Animal Lover Dear Animal: The above-mentioned Mr. Kimball would be wise to ride his bicycle closer to home in the event he again falls off. Next time, he’ll claim he saw a giraffe. Mr. Swift: What is the exact date of the founding of the community of Patterson? — Inquisitive Dear Inquisitive: It is considered to be in the fall of 1909, when founder T.W. Patterson asked rancher W.W. Cox to harvest his crops so that Patterson could build a town. As for the exact date, I wasn’t there that day. Ron: One of your fellow Knights of the Square Table, a man of considerable intelligence, wit, charm and good looks, says you don’t like trains and for that reason are opposed to the West Park proposal for the Crows Landing base. Is this true? — A Friend Dear Friend: I don’t wish to avoid your question, but no members of KOST possess all four of the traits you mentioned. Most don’t possess three. Mr. Swift: Is it true that the annual Chamber of Commerce banquet that took place every November for many years drew crowds of more than 300? — Awed Dear Awed: Yes, it’s true. The traditional banquet was Patterson’s social highlight of the year. That’s when people called every business owner by his or her first name and still believed in shopping at home, thus keeping those dollars local. Sir: You used to rant and grouse at great length about El Circulo being called an avenue. Does it still happen? — Say It Right Dear SIR: Of course it does. Look in the Evans phone book for numerous mistaken listings of El Circulo Avenue. For the final time, it’s not an avenue. Oh, it isn’t Evans anymore? My mistake. Mr. Swift: You have obviously made your point about not liking cell phones. What if your wife came home with one? — Curious Dear Curious: You’re too late. Traitor owns one of the detestable devices but has direct orders to 1) never let me see it; 2) never be caught speaking on it in my presence; and 3) never call me on the blasted thing. I’ve told her that if any of the above should occur, I’ll go sleep in the garage. Please pray with me for a mild winter. FOR THE SPORT FAN This is the time of year when the top college basketball teams compile their impressive win-loss records against smaller, second-tier opponents. Otherwise, how would you explain fifth-ranked Tennessee beating Middle Tennessee, 109-40, and Arkansas-Monticello, 101-44? And on national TV on Thanksgiving Day, North Carolina State played Rider. Question of the week: Where’s Rider? AND FINALLY … Do you ever wonder how there can be self-help “groups?” Well, you should. Ron Swift is editor/publisher emeritus of the Patterson Irrigator. His column appears weekly in this space.
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email This
Hits: 192 Comments
(0)
|
Subscribe to this comment's feed