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| Fast Talk |
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| Written by Ron Swift / Fast Talk | |
| Friday, 23 May 2008 | |
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Time for community input as centennial plans develop Just a few odds and ends this week. Mostly ends. We’ll start with Patterson’s centennial observance, now only a year away. As previously announced, two big bashes are planned — one on the Fourth of July weekend and the other over the Labor Day weekend in early September.  Ron Swift / Fast Talk The Labor Day weekend is being planned to be more historical, with Patterson High class reunions, a pageant detailing this community’s unique founding and history, tours of several of our oldest houses, and the like. The next step in organizing the two celebration weekends is to bring aboard local civic and service organizations — Patterson’s youth groups, our lodges and specialty clubs, and our churches. The above-mentioned groups will soon be contacted by members of the Centennial Committee. All are needed to make our 100th birthday just one more notch in our history. NAME THE RACCOON(S) As Frank Ponce on Amberina Court was the first to bring live-in raccoons to our attention, he gets the honor of choosing the first name. Frank’s choice: The Bandit. Now, because Patterson seems to have more than one raccoon living in town, let’s hear some other name suggestions. UNUSUAL SPRING Attention, Patterson newcomers. The spring weather you have been experiencing, especially the wind, is highly unusual. Longtime residents tell us they’ve never experienced a spring with this much wind. Global warming, or the Russians? COMPLICATED Sometimes, family matters get complicated. Housemate (HM) and I will be out of town this weekend and have been in need of an appropriate gift. I suggested looking over the framed offerings of local photographer Ben Swift, who has close connections with our family. HM agreed. When contacting the above-mentioned Mr. Swift, we were told that his photographs are on display at the local US Bank and that we could make our selection there. But we wanted to meet with the photographer. That, we were told, requires an appointment. Our second choice is a gift certificate. OUT FOR LUNCH Those Knights of the Square Table (KOST) guys who slurp coffee most mornings at Mil’s saved up their money and this week took one of their members to lunch. Johnny Farinha, who has been hospitalized and in rehab since late January, was the honoree. Farinha, whose roots are in Crows Landing but at one time claimed to be a Patterson native before finally owning up, has been back in Turlock these past few weeks after surgery in San Francisco and then a return trip there with complications. Johnny, called “No Pay” by his buddies, said he really enjoyed his free lunch. By the way, KOST will note its 25th anniversary next year and hopes to put on a blast equally as large as Patterson’s centennial celebration. One of its charter members, Allister Allen, is still paying for coffee, this year at a record pace. THE LATEST ON CELLS The very latest research (mine) on cell phones is that too much talk into the danged gadgets gives a person halitosis. WE’RE GETTIN’ YA SMARTER Here’s more info about the human body. You use 200 muscles to take one step. (That is, if you have 200 muscles.) One human brain cell can hold five times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. (That’s reason enough to wear a bike helmet.) Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair there. (Heavy imbibers should wear a chest toupee.) The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body. (Unless your teeth are only a memory.) FROM THE MAIL BAG Mr. Crazy: Why would anyone, especially you and HM, fly to China, drive to the Gobi desert, ride camels for two weeks into an area untraveled by Caucasians and without roads or medical service, sleep in tents, eat camp food, battle sandstorms and night temperatures approaching zero, and endure without restrooms and hot showers? — Curious Dear Curious: You failed to mention cold showers. And, to answer your question, it’s HM’s idea. FOR THE SPORTS FAN OK, so they don’t call palming the ball any more in pro basketball, and they don’t call traveling, including dragging the pivot foot, either. Remember when basketball was considered to be a noncontact sport? Am I getting picky? AND FINALLY … Next week at this time, I hope you’ll be enjoying the 38th annual production of the Apricot Fiesta — sans wind. Ron Swift is editor/publisher emeritus of the Patterson Irrigator. His column appears weekly in this space.
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